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Mr. Fitz
The middle school English teacher battling
student apathy, school bureaucracy, and gum, yet still manages
to enjoy teaching. His obsessions include Reading,
Star Wars, attempting to complete the first sentence of his
novel, attempting to finish "Moby Dick" before
his 90th birthday and playing with his Kindergarten aged
twins., Tom
and Jen.
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MRS. FITZ
The woman behind the teacher, Mrs. Fitz is Mr. Fitz's sounding
board. She also runs the box office of the local community
theater, and sometimes directs. She also plays mom to
the twins they named Tom and Jen (after she
refused
Mr. Fitz's behests to name them Luke and Leia).
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MS. ROTHKO
The school art teacher wants to encourage true creativity among
students who like tracing Pokemon images.
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MS. ALBRIGHT
Always
perky, upbeat, and chipper, no matter what may be going on around
her, the school principal’s squinty eyes and cemented smile are
her trademark.
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LIZ
PIERCE
A
repeat 7th grader, Liz doesn’t just ride the cutting
edge—she IS the cutting edge.
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DIRTH
BLACK
A
repeat 7th grader, Dirth’s philosophy is
“less is less.” but
don’t ask him to put that, or anything else, in writing.
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MR.
PYTHON
Ex-military
(no one is sure which branch) teacher who runs his class like basic
training.
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MRS.
PAQUETTS
The
master of the multi-page educational experience (the packet), this
social studies teacher teaches about dictatorships by running her
classroom as one.
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RUSTY
Skateboard
dude, and protégé of the great anti-reading strategist, Spike, who
recently moved on to 8th grade, Rusty is carrying on Spike's
tradition of working harder at avoiding books than most people do at
actually reading. |
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JOAN
Joan
LOVES English class! She loves reading and writing and
spelling and vocabulary and even grammar exercises! Her
enthusiasm can be overwhelming, but unfortunately it isn't catching. |
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TESSY
WEST
Tessy tries to express her individualism by copying all the fashions in
the trendiest teen magazines (periodicals with titles like
"Trendy Teen"). Tessy would like to be a model
someday, and practices every day in class. The world is her
runway.
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GRACIELLA
GONZALEZ
Graciella's
current claim to fame is rating teachers on her non-scientific
"coolness scale". She's actually a very bright student,
but don't tell anyone-- she thinks it would lower her on the
"coolness" scale. |
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RASHAD
Rashad
is not a bad kid, and his parents want to keep it that way.
Thus, a constant flow of contact with his teachers via phone, email,
cell phone, fax, pager, and possibly smoke signals if
necessary. His teachers approve. |
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MS.
KEPLER
The
queen of labs, projects, and
hands-on activities, the team science teacher boldly goes where no
class has gone before.
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MR.
SOMNIUM
The
team reading teacher doesn’t care if the kids love or hate
reading. He only cares
whether they make their multiple-choice bubble sheet marks heavy and
dark.
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| BOB
The
Fitz family pet, Bob didn't lose his tail in an accident: he's a
Manx, a breed of tail-less cats that originated on the Isle of
Mann. Bob was supposed to be a house cat, but chose to be an
alley cat, probably because he might be part bob-cat. |
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SMUDGLY
Smudgly
is the Bulwer-Lytton Middle School mascot, a tame
lemming. Smudgly was found in the wild by Ms. Kepler on one of
her science expeditions. He wanted to hurl himself to his
demise with the other lemmings, but was afraid of
heights. He is the only hold over from my Stetson
University strip, "The Forest of Arden". |
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